I had to drag my six year old son into the women’s restroom at the doctors office with me the other day. No way was I leaving him out in the lobby to wait by himself. Not even a chance. I even tried to coerce him to stand in the stall with me once we had gone in (maybe a little much). He whined, “mooomm, no” so I just told him to stay put and that I’d be quick. There was another woman coming out of one of the other stalls at the time and she noticed I had brought him in with me. She made small talk with my little guy as she washed her hands, and as she walked out the door she said “you’ve got a good mama for bringing you in here.”
I smiled. Well THAT felt good to hear. And I quickly realized how much weight those four little words had. Just a few weeks earlier I had heard those words from my father in law after a little family birthday gathering we had for our middle son. He had hugged me good-bye and said “you’re a good mama” and I couldn’t help but smile in content knowing that was how they saw me, as a good mom.
Because there are a lot of days when I feel like anything but a good mom. There are a lot of days when I feel I am barely keeping it all together. There is SO MUCH PRESSURE to get it right coming at us mom’s from every single freaking direction, all the time. We have a wealth information at our fingertips, but sometimes it’s just all too much. I’ll be honest and say social media (Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Blogs….yada, yada, yada) – they ALL play into this. And I know a lot of us moms do it to ourselves by playing the comparison game. That’s when you know it’s time to hit the pause button and press reset.
I just think us mama’s need to hear it more often. Those four little words can make a world of difference to a mama who is trying to measure up to what she thinks the world is telling her to be (which, by the way, I think the best moms are the ones who care absolutely none about what the world thinks). Here’s my two cents on if you’re struggling and feeling like you’re falling short:
- Make a list of all the things you are ALREADY doing for your kids that are good. There is power in getting it down on paper.Surround yourself with other mama’s who will support you – this is essential. Mothering can be lonely and we NEED each other.Have fun with your kids – sometimes it can be daunting feeling like you’re not measuring up by doing all the things…my best mom moments have been when I’ve let myself just be free and PLAY with them.Stop guilting yourself for taking time for you. You can’t pour from an empty cup.
To all my mama friends…you’re a good mama. You’re so good. You’re the safe place for your babies, and you’re the glue that holds your family together. You sacrifice your time, energy, body, and emotions for those little humans – and you so deserve to feel loved and appreciated. Find another mama, lift her up, tell her she’s good. Whisper it in her ear, send her a simple text, shout it, post it on social media….just let her know.